After waiting for two hours in front of the doctor's office the secretary called my name. I thanked god that at last I have the chance to talk to the doctor and get answers to my questions. I humbly entered and after greeting the doctor I sat in front of him. He said – Yes, what's your problem. I said doctor you have prescribed Brachtherapy, What is it and is it painful? He answered – No. Doctor how long will it take for the test. Doctor - About one hour. Doctor is Cystoscopy painful? He got furious and shouted at me and said “we know what we are doing and now don't waste my time . Out out!”
I was out of the office within two minutes . I felt really bad and confused as to what wrong had I asked the doctor. But as he was treating my mother he was as a GOD for me.
Later when side effects started after Chemotherapy we really used to get anxious and afraid as to what is happening and it was really bad to see a mother dying in pain. I used to frequently make phone calls to the doctor to keep him updated of the situation but in between also used to ask question as to why are they happening. The answers that I used to get sometimes were really supportive but sometimes I used to get comments like – “Mr Soni, you ask too many questions.” Sometimes the doctor just used to tell me the name of the medicine and snap the phone call. I really felt bad and then used to find my answers on the WEB. At this point I would like to thank Dr P.N.Mallick and Dr D.P.Thakur for their full support and the care they gave to my mother. I will never forget their ehshan and can't even repay them .
My Mother expired on the 7th of December 2008. I could not save her but I do feel that the information that I had collected during her treatment period helped her and my family members a lot mentally, as we all knew some facts on what's going to happen next after each treatment.
It was two years ago when my mother, Ansuya Devi Soni, was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. It was a bomb- shell for all of us! The worst part about most of the Oncologists is that they do not have enough time to explain things –“ like what the dangers are and how the treatment will be planned?” I kept on running from pillar to post to get answers to my querries, but in vain.
They did Surgery, Radiotherapy, Brachytherapy, Chemotherapy, etc and I and my mother always used to have questions and fears as to-“ how are they done?, how does the patient have to be ready before the above treatments?, are they painful?, are they risky?, what will be the possible side effects of the above treatments?” for which, as I said, the BIG DOCTORS had very little time to explain.
During that period when I did not get any satisfactory or detailed answers I turned, to the WORLD WIDE WEB. Sites like Indiacancer.org, Cancerbackup.org , Canceraidsocietyindia.org, cpaaindia.org, cansupport.org, indiacancer.org etc gave me the answers. They are the layman's guide to know more about Cancer and its treatment and I personally thank, with folded hands, to those people who have done so much of research work and for making it available for everybody. It was a boon for me.
I am sincere in my wish to bring inspiration and strength to others. I would like to point out that although my experience has come from caring for my mother with Cervical cancer, I have compiled my book in the hope of bringing that inspiration and strength to those who have, and particularly those who care for, loved ones with ALL forms of cancer. I know the state of helplessness experienced upon diagnosis, and the strength I found when I came to realize that although I could not stop my mother from dying, I could help her to live better. My insight and discussion regarding pain management and symptom control and the emotional journey of caring for a terminally ill loved one, as portrayed by the inclusion of excerpts, applies on a broad scale.
At that point I decided to collect as much information from different sites and bring them into one window so that a common man can also get answers to his queries. I discussed this among my friends who supported my idea. I started my work of compiling facts. At this point I would like to thank my friends Suresh Bhansali , Rajesh Agarwal , Mukesh Changia and Vikas Kejriwal for their emotional support. After compiling ten percent of my work I decided to show it to my mentor Mr. Bharat Mani Pradhan who really praised my work. His praise worked as a catalyst and I got myself deeply involved in it.
After the death of my mother I got more emotionally attached with my project. I was after it day and night, collecting information. I really thank my father and wife for supporting me . I forgot to laugh, go out with my friends, rest, my social activites, my business. My only aim was to finish my project and bring it to the common man. I got so much involved in my project that my family members and friends also started thinking that I had gone mad. Even I felt the same thing at times. But as I was sincere in my wish to bring inspiration and strength to others I carried on my work of compiling facts. I worked for eight months and finished my work after which I went to Delhi to give my CD to Rajiv Gandhi Cancer Hospital for their comments and feedback where I found that the the software that I had used to compile my work did'nt work as I had worked on Microsoft One-Note which most of the computers don't have.
It was again a bomb-shell for me , all my hard work had gone in vain, my heart was broken into pieces and I had lost . I slowly on my way back to Kalimpong had lost hope of completing my project. I had nearly given up the idea. Bad thoughts started hovering over me , I started thinking , my friends think I have gone mad, they think I have taken the project too seriously and crack a joke or two on me, how am I going to start the project again in HTML format (which I don't know how to use) so that it opens in every computer. Then I received three inspirational SMS which read as follows :---
- * “When you do anything NEW, at first people Laugh at you, then they Challenge you, then they watch you Succeed and then they wish they were you.”
- * Always have a unique character like salt, it's presence is not felt but it's absence make things tasteless.
- * The Sun teaches us three things- NO VACATION, NO DISCRIMINATION AND NO EXPECTATION.
These SMS brought a new light of hope and I decided to complete my project at any cost. I went to Siliguri and showed and discussed my project with some tech developers whom I do not want to name. They asked me Rupees Four Lacs to convert my work to HTML Format. I got SHOCKED!!! I just could not stand but anyhow I got out of their office and slowly started walking when it came to my mind one name, “ Moloy Muzamder ” the Accounting Software Developer. Straight away I went to his office and laid my problem in front of him. He went over the whole project and said – I will teach you how to work with HTML , if you can complete, well enough, if not I will complete it free of cost as this is something which is for a noble cause. The work started all over again. Just then one day a smart looking boy came to my office for Moneygram. His name was Ronnie Marcelline and I nicknamed him GOD. I completed his transaction and was just having a formal talk when somehow the topic of my project came in. Looking at the seriousness in my talk he started digging my thoughts on the project. After a long discussion he reveled that he was a web designer and offered to help me. It was like a dream come true. All three started working day and night on it and today we reached here. Last but not the least, I would also like to thank Sadhana Kumari Gupta for helping me in my project. I would also like to thank at this point , Samta Bhansali for helping me with the title of my project.CANCERNIRVANA. During the making of this project I had the chance to speak with anita secretary of indiacancer.org. I would from the bottom of my heart thank her for her unconditional help if required in future.
The web pages were ready and now I had to take permission from the sites from where I had collected information. After much correspondence and assurance I was able to get their permission as some sites were from UK . I even had the opportunity to talk to Umesh Pradhan, Secretary of singer Shanker Mahadeven, and then Shanker Mahadevan himself. Similarly through Meenakshi, the Secratry of Amir Khan I was able to talk personally to Amir Khan also for their permission for a song which I have used in my project. What I have learnt from my project is that if your aims are high and true you can always achive it. You can go to any extent. After almost completing my project i had to travel to kolkata for the final touches where I met Vivek Verma . He saw the whole project and we both met Pankaj Khajanchi who really from his heart wanted to work for the project. He did help me with the final touches but we at last had to go to Mr. Kailash Mondal , Software Consultant who also after feeling that the project was for a Noble Cause put his whole heart and soul and his expertise in the final Framework of the CD. I would like to thank them all also.
I would also like to mention at this point that although I have compiled my book with the care in a home environment in mind, it came to my mind that if I could compile all the facts from different sites into one programme it would be a wonderful work for the Society. Most people do not use Computers or even if they have computers they are not that Tech-savvy to go online and search, so why not make it available to everybody online ,offline and also in printed version free of cost?
Lastly I would once again thank My friends,Ronnie Marcelline, Moloy Muzamedar, Suresh Bhansali,Samta Bhansali,Rajesh Agarwal, Mukesh Changia, Vikas Kejriwal, Sadhna and my mentor Bharat Mani Pradhan whom I have disturbed a lot for the last 15 months and their support without which I alone could not have completed my project. I also extend my thanks to Macmillan Cancer Support, Cancerpaitentaidsociety.com,Indiacancer.org, Cancerbackup.org , Canceraidsocietyindia.org, cpaaindia.org, cansupport.org, indiacancer.org etc, for working so hard to help the Cancer Paitents.
I did my first presentation at the Rotary Club Of Kalimpong after which in the Board Meeting on the 20th of june 2009 a resolution was adopted by the members and it was resolved that " in association with Rotary Club Of Kalimpong" be added to the CD called Cancernirvana.
On the 13 th of July I gave my First International Presentation at the Rotary Club of Pattaya, Thailand in which the District Govenor said “Eradicating Polio is an international issue of Rotary because it has a treatment but the day when there is a treatment for Cancer and if I am alive by that time I promise that with your support I will make this an international issue of Rotary also” Such was the complement from the DG .
Cancernirvana was invited at the Inauguration of the Curie-Abdur Razzaque Ansari Cancer Institute on 10 th September 2009 which was done by the Hon'ble Vice President of India Shri M.Hamid Ansari.
On 7th of November 2009, CD, "Cancernirvana" in association with Rotary Club Of Kalimpong was formally released at the Ramkrishna Rangh Manch, (Townhall) , Kalimpong. ( see photos ) . Cancernirvana would like to Thank The Rotary Club of Kalimpong for organizing the release programme, PDG Dr Salil Dutta for attending the programme as Chief Guest, Dr Pankaj Choudhary as Guest of Honour and Mr P.R.Pradhan as Special Guest. Cancernirvana would also thank Kalimpolites for attending the programme in large numbers and making it a grand success.